Lately, I’ve been feeling more tired and exhausted than ever. I have no desire to socialize or connect with people. I’m 28 and I’ve never had a healthy relationship. I’ve learned to guard myself because I feel like no one has their best interest in me. Sometimes I wonder if there’s still some good people in this world. Or maybe I’ve just been surrounded by the wrong people for so long, that I thought it was normal to be treated the way I was.
Right now, I keep to myself instead of putting myself out there, because I’m scared of getting hurt again. I’m scared of how comfortable I am becoming with being alone. It’s affecting my family and friendships. I mean, I want to be a good family member and a friend, but I feel so disconnected from reality. I just feel at peace when I’m alone, but then I realized I feel empty because I push everyone away.
I feel my depression coming back, and I don’t want to be self-destructive again. I’m trying to fight to stay stable and be strong, but deep down I’m really hurting and I feel alone.